That Other Guy

You ever watch those shows where there is always a third (or sometimes fourth or fifth) wheel?

So the other day I was thinking about the boys on The Blue Collar Comedy series. Specifically, Ron White because my mom and I were watching him on Comedy Central earlier.

Then I get to thinking about the other members. There's Larry the Cable Guy, Jeff Foxworthy, and... and... and that other guy.

I finally remembered it was Bill Engvall, but there is always that person that you forget.

On American Idol, it's Randy. I always forget his name. The only reason I know it right now is because I was thinking about writing this post for awhile and had muchos time to recall "that other guy's" name.

In the show Psych, the two main characters had to try out for "American Duos," essentially a parody of American Idol. They had the mean British guy and the drugged out has been. The other guy ended up being the killer of the case because no one remembered who he was. I thought that was very clever script writing.

American Idol's sister show, So You Think You Can Dance, just gets rid of that other guy. Yep, takes him right out. So you think that since there are two you would forget one of them? Nope. There aren't only two judges. There is the mean British guy and the crazy (not so much as Paula Abdul) used-to-dance-girl. The third one changes each week, so no one needs to remember who it is!

I say So You Think You Can Dance is way ahead of its time. The show obviously knows America's attention span and lack of memory. Even though there have only been three seasons and has the same producer as American Idol, it is so much more intelligent in the fact that it just cuts that poor loser out altogether. For your enjoyment, I've added a picture of my all time favorite contestant:


This is one of my favorite dance routines. Picture courtesy of traviswall-online.org


So if you happen to be watching TV and notice another show with "that other guy," please comment or give me some feedback. I would love to know how many more shows there are with that pathetic third wheel. Or just to know your opinions about them.

Democratic Debate on CNN

Hillary Clinton was first to be asked a question tonight.

I laughed when she said "I'm glad to be here."

Then as I watched her talk, I noticed something funny about her face. My mom, coincidently, was able to voice what I was thinking before I got to say it.

"Did Hillary get some work done on her face?"

I reply, "That's just what I was thinking; It looks like she got a little too much botox in the cheeks."

I thought this issue was funny and note worthy enough to immediately blog about it. So although this post is short, it is most certainly quite sweet.

Kumar's on House!

I don't know how many of you watch "House," but it's one of my favorite shows. It's hard not to be in love with a sarcastic ass with a perfect American accent.

Last season ended with all his cronies quitting, or with House firing them. So this season, he kind of has a little reality show game going on. He started with about 40 "contestants" and now there are about 5.

Early on in this season, I noticed a familiar face. "Kumar!!" I shout. I'm so excited, I loved him in Harold and Kumar. Of course his name isn't really Kumar, but what else am I going to call him? Tajj? No. Kumar is a much better name.

Anyway, loved him in Harold and Kumar. One of the best parts is that his brother AND father are doctors, and he doesn't want to be, because apparently being an Indian doctor is a stereotype. In the end, he decided he would seriously try to become one, because he is naturally good at it.

So imagine my surprise when I see Kumar in House, trying to become a doctor. I just had to laugh. Plus he is such a phenomenal actor. I thought he would be one of the last 3 because he rocks not only my socks, but House's as well. He used a defibrillator on a patient in some special room, despite all the other contestant's yelling. He saved the girl's life, but also set her on fire.
C'est tres amusant.

Eventually he got fired. I was really upset because I was so sure he was going to make it. He and "Cut Throat Bitch." You know, I don't even know her real name. That's what she's called. But as he was leaving the room, he said something smart and House "unfired" him.

Too bad Foreman is back and took up one of the 3 slots. He was the one who quit in the first place. House even found him a nice job in Boston. I guess now he wants to work with House?

So I think Kumar and CTB will be the final two, but I really want Foreman to leave. Maybe then "Hot Number 13" or "Overly Religious Black Guy" will make it in. Originally I thought the old guy (without a license) would make it, but he had the same ideas as House, and he doesn't need 2 of himself around.

(links to be added later. I just wanted to got this posted before the end of today's episode)

What do Britney Spears and George W. have in common?

Well, first of all, they are both idiots, both white trash, and both West Texas girls!

Ha, just kidding, Britney's from Louisiana.


I would like to take a second to admire myself for that joke.
...
...
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Okay, now that that's over, let's talk about both of these people.

Seriously, Bush has admitted that he is a "West Texas girl." He's quite special, isn't he? If I were Canadian, I would love him, just for his accidental comedic abilities.

In terms of celebrities, I can't think of anybody more pathetic than Britney Spears. Lindsey Lohan comes close, but somehow, she's been avoiding the media. Maybe she should pass some tips on to Ms. Spears. Things like not not getting divorces, not going to court, not hitting cars and then banging them with doors.

Oh yea, and that cd thing. How's that coming, Britney? I was reading some news about it, how you're lawyer made an excuse for you not showing up for drug testing. She seriously asked the judge if he has to promote a number one selling album. My thoughts: how rude. This is the guy that has control over what her future holds, and her lawyer wants to be pissy with him? Then I found out that she DOESN'T have a number one selling album. It's behind The Eagles.

Seriously? The Eagles? When was the last time anyone ever heard from them? Aren't they old? Like in the realm of U2 and others?

Oh well, as long as someone can prove that not only is Britney an idiot, but her attorney is, too, I'm having a good day.

Let's talk about our Decider for a minute. There is this man from California who is promoting the impeachment of Bush & Cheney by walking to D.C. this winter. How crazy, I hope people get the message. No matter how bad I want them out of office, there is no way I would do exercise to prove it. The article went on to say that this protester hasn't done anything since Vietnam.

Haha. Protester. But he does seem to have priorities in order. Things haven't been so bad since 'Nam.

Does anyone have Britney's album? Is it even any good? I don't want to buy it, that would mean the money would get back to her, and she would have more ability make an ass of herself.

It's okay though Britney. I'm sure Dubya doesn't know what a sombrero is, either.

Tila Tequila

Warning: In the following post, I will reveal little known secrets about myself. If you think you can't handle this, or think you may get sick, DO NOT CONTINUE READING!

Also, don't make fun of me for my stupid dreams. Some were from when I was WAY young and some were just momentary ideas.

Earlier in my blog, I mentioned that Tila Tequila is one of the reasons I started a blog. And since I couldn't think of any ideas recently (which is really shocking, I always have something on my mind), I decided, hey, why not inform my (few) viewers a little more about myself and why I'm here.

Early in my youth, I decided I wanted to be famous. I don't know why, but even when I was, like, five and didn't know of any famous people, I wanted to be famous. At that age, I wanted to be an artist, but as I got older, I wanted to be a celebrity.

I went back and forth between wanting to be a singer and an actress-
-Random words: I just wanted everyone to know that I am currently watching "I Love New York" and Buddha had JUST come back last week there is more on him in the beginning of THIS episode, so I'm really excited right now... sorry for that digression-

-Okay, so between actress and singer... I've never really tried either, so I don't know if I could. I mean, I can sing, I always hit the notes when I've had to try out for chorus (in middle school, lol). Here is where the above warning comes in: I love Disney movies, and the music. And I always think "that person's voice, their voice gets known as that character. Wouldn't that be AMAZING if that was me? or this? or this? I think it would be awesome. But Disney doesn't make classics anymore. And if it does, it's a sequel and it sucks. Also, I am pretty camera shy, so I wouldn't wanna try to be talented for everybody to judge, so pretty much those ideas are out. Nevertheless, sometimes I have these fantasies about being on the red carpet and people knowing who I am and people wanting to know who I am.

Okay, I said that's impossible, but I lie. It was impossible a few years ago, but is QUITE possible now.
Beware all- Extreme information coming: I'm related to someone quite famous.
(another random word- I just changed a Wikipedia page! I feel so cool. And smarter than Wikipedia. They were wrong on where she was born)

Anyway, back to Jody-you would know if you checked out the link- she's having a movie made about her. Apparently her life is interesting. Actually, it really is, I've read the script. And her sister is my mommy/best friend so I do know a lot of details about their crazy childhood.

They (Hollywood, god knows who) have written a script and have begun casting. They want the guy who played Capote to be my uncle. Last I knew, they wanted Kate Winslet to be Jody, I think she turned it down, but whatever. I don't know much besides that, but apparently, it IS in progress, however, may take years to finish.

When it is finished, I get to go to the premiere! Ooooooon the red carpet! In my gorgeous dress that looks better on me than that model (I sound conceited, but it is true).

There are brief periods of time where I have other career ideas, like being a cop (no lie) or a CSI.
I would love to be a makeup artist. Not for a salon, but for the movies, making people look sick or like zombies, or butchered half to death. I'm pretty creative, so I'd do well there.

But, what I've settled on, it's a passion of mine, is fashion. I'm going to school to become a fahion designer, and I'm going to be bigger than anybody who ever thought they were big. Dolce and Gabbana, Versace, Tommy Hilfiger, Ralph Lauren, Chanel, move out of the way.

I'm also taking classes on criminal intent, way on the other side of fashion, but fun, nonetheless.


Anyway, I've explained that I want to be famous. I haven't explained how this relates to Tila Tequila.

A few months ago, I was looking for backpacks online, I really needed one for school. I found out that Justin Timberlake started designing Sexy Back...packs (btw, they weren't that great). Somehow, when I searched, I ended up at a blog that was made by this girl, Tila Tequila. This was the first I had ever heard of her.

So I start reading a post about how she's decided to "give up sex" for like a month. I think, wow, what a pathetic piece of trash. All her comments are mostly guys and some girls telling her how, ahem, bad that sounds, she must be easy, yada yada, pretty much what I thought.
For some reason, even though I'm horrible at remembering names, I remembered this one.

A couple months later, I see a commercial for a dating show with Tila Tequila. I was like, wow! I've heard of her! Turns out, she became famous mostly via myspace. But I knew that she had blogs too.

I already have a myspace, so I thought, well I've been wanting to make a blog, and apparently, some people get famous. Why not me?


Albeit I'm not so loose, but I have mad personality.

Remember that time we were in a Car Accident, and then I Woke Up?

Two weeks ago, I was in a car accident. Luckily, not my car. My friend was driving in the rain and it started hydroplaning. We don't know whether the car is totaled or not, but both of us had a little whiplash the next day.

That being said, last night, before I went to bed, my neck kind of kinked up. Maybe I turned it weird or something, but I figured it wouldn't bother me much.

I went to bed, and somewhere during my dream, I was a passenger in a car with a friend (I don't really know who). I think it was Elisha's car because it was purple, but she wasn't the one driving it. My friend and I were driving at night, and everyone else who was driving at night was doing tricks. You know at those contests where the people flip their bikes and other vehicular possibilities? Well apparently, we were doing that with cars. My friend hits a hill at the left of her car and we start flipping (sideways, not forwards), heading towards a tunnel over a dirt road. The person next to me says (with a smile) "he better not get us in a car crash," like flipping a car is no big deal. "He," apparently, got in the way of another car earlier that night and it went ka-boom. When we flipped, he was coming in our direction, but not in the way. There was, however, another car going through the tunnel as we were, but we were in the air (upside down) and luckily didn't hit them.

Here's my attempt of the setting in a paint sketch:
The point of describing this dream is that, during the flipping, I felt my head whip around, and I mean, I felt it. In reality, it felt like my neck did after the real car accident.

Somehow, in the dream, we landed on a side road, just barely having the car straighten out again. Weird how dreams are. And they always change throughout...

Anyway, when I woke up, I felt like I had minor whiplash. I'm assuming that my neck hurts because of the way I turned it last night. And I'm just gonna guess that the dream was a juxtaposition of the recent real car accident and a way for my subconscious to explain my neck pain. I hypothesis that the "real pain" I felt during the flip/dream was some kind of phenomenon. I don't think I really hurt myself in my sleep.


I mean, what is there to harm me? Those pillows, they're dangerous, man.

How can we fund a war when we can't fund a... war?

It doesn't make any sense. Our current administration must have some kind of filter to their brains that doesn't let "logic" in.
The Iraq War (why are we there again?) is underfunded and troops are over stretched. When we can't afford to be in one war, why want to start more conflict?

My social studies teacher told me, in my senior year of high school, that soon enough, they'll want to go to war with Iran. At the time, I thought it was absurd. But the more he brought it up, the less absurd it became.
Remember when we were at war with Afghanistan? And then all of a sudden BAM we're at war with Iraq. They got that one wrong. If they wanted to carry that out quickly, they should of had four times as many soldiers to begin with who would do a sweep of the country.

Why doesn't Bush W learn? From anyone? His own father, flesh of his flesh, blood of his blood, knew that staying in Iraq during that first Persian Gulf War wasn't a good idea. With a country of that magnitude, how do we expect to stay in control?

If you think about "A War on Terror," it's actually an oxymoron. You can't fight to end terror, it just doesn't make sense. Thus, we are the terrorists.
Why does the USA have to get in everybody's business? Hussein was not a direct threat to the US,

but I think Bush just may be...


I know, bold statements, but I tend to be that way. I mean no offense to the American people and DEFINITELY not the soldiers. We learned in Vietnam that the soldiers are not the ones to blame.

If you didn't see those numbers on the link I gave you, you should check it out. I know all this money isn't coming from Bill Gates. It's coming from the overtaxed, underpaid, over deserving working middle class. People like you and me. I saw a commercial for Barack Obama last night, and he seems to get that concept that taxes are all wrongly distributed and whatnot. His phrase, which I liked very much, was something like "the middle class is treading water."
It sounds much more powerful the way he says it.

Anyway, to wrap this thing up: America, give peace a chance.

Ever do nothing and then do nothing about it?

I overslept today. I woke up at 5ish in the afternoon. anytime after 2pm is definitely oversleeping.
I also was suppose to do things. Like homework mayhaps. Or carve a pumpkin.
Yea, Halloween came late for me.

Anyway, the only thing I did was watch TV, eat food, and here I am, doing nothing, when I really should've compensated for lack of doing.

Oh well. what can I do? I'll tell you: nothing. It's fun, try it some time. I wasted a hell of a lot of time on newgrounds. Games are a good way to waste time also.

Oh, but maybe I was just making up for all the things I did yesterday... You see, I have the messiest car. Anybody who has ever been in the BAMF-mobile can tell you. Even when I consider it clean, it's still a mess.

So yesterday I took out ALL the trash (filled up an entire garbage bag) and took out all the stuff I still wanted, just not in my car. Then, get this: I got out the VACUUM CLEANER (it took me awhile to learn how to use it) and sucked up all the crap I could outta my baby. Unfortunately, I couldn't reach the stupid bugs that have been in the back window that have disgustingly been there since the previous owner. And the car still looks like crap.

Maybe I should go get it professionally cleaned.
And have the carpet glued back together.
And the gum (spit at me by some kid) taken off the floor, which is covered by a penny.
And tape the taillight back together.
And paint the chip in the paint I made when I hit that post at the gas station.
And get the frickin dent out of it that WASN'T put there by me.

Or I could just do nothing...

Do you believe in ghosts?

I'm not sure if I do or don't. I've had two experiences I can't deny.

One was when the drop down cupboard things in my closet started swinging back and forth with no provocation.

The other time was when I was in my grandma's condo and there was this floating sound that kept changing. It actually woke me up. First it sounded like a telephone and then as it came up the stairs towards my room, it turned into clicks. This experience was pretty long. I was NOT about to get out of the bed, but somehow I could, like, communicate with it. You probably think I'm crazy, but I remember checking to make sure I was awake. And after it went away, I did go to the bathroom, and if I did that in my sleep, I would've pissed the bed.

So it's weird to think about because that must mean there is something after death, right? I'm not a religious person, so I don't really have any idea what happens after death, as does anyone. But maybe ghosts prove there is a god. and a heaven. and a limbo.

Alternatively, it could just mean that the energy from our brains stays together as a spirit and just lingers around the earth. I learned in physics that energy is not wasted, just transferred.

But maybe, just maybe, ghosts don't exist. I think that's one of our biggest unsolved mysteries, along with how the universe came about and what's REALLY out there.

And if ghosts don't exist, then that means that I must be crazy. But logically, I can't be, because crazy people don't realize that they are crazy.

So, the question of the night: do YOU believe in ghosts?

America's Next Lame Model

When I'm bored, I generally tune into MTV, MTV2, or VH1.

The reality shows are mindlessly entertaining. Watching America's Next Top Model, I think "wow, these girls suck." Of course it's an old season, but come ON, HOW much cattier can the girls get?

Alternatively, I love when the "man skanks" on "I Love New York" are stupid. It makes me laugh, and it makes me laugh harder when my parents give a crap how stupid the guys are being.

Last week, my two favorite contestants on my two favorite dating reality shows were eliminated.
Buddha, the reasonable one from I Love New York got mad at Tailor Made and threw orange juice at him. He then got pretty hott (like military drill sargent hott) and got all up in Tailor Made's face. After he pushed "Tattle Tailor's" head into the wall, Buddha was unfortunately eliminated. Oh well. At least Midget Mac is still in the hiz-ouse.

On Tila Tequila (One reason I actually started a blog- maybe I'll mention it later), the boy named Ashley is from the south. Usually, I hate southern accents. It sounds so uneducated. Ironically, Ashley is a teacher. Then he defended Domenico, the guy who seems totally gay, after another guy claimed Domenico was gay after he was asking "would you ever sleep with a man?"

Closeted people and drama are funny.

Actually I lied.
Ashley was far from my favorite. He seemed like a pretty decent guy, but like I said, he sounded pretty dumb. Turns out he was! When she booted him, he started spewing all sorts of things and got in a rage. He threw the big planters on the ground and started shouting at...nobody? Trying to pick a fight with someone 300 yards away inside a locked house is quite useless. I did laugh out loud. Again: stupid.

Turns out, the guy he was yelling at ended up hurt (only god knows how) and the show ended with an ambulance pulling out of the driveway.

Amanda is really my favorite. When she first came in she seemed really pretty and nice. Then I changed my mind because she wears so much make-up and close ups do not do well for her. I later changed my mind back when she said boys were gross and her personality made her so much more attractive. And she really does seem to be there for Tila. I hope she isn't eliminated.

The cool people always are.

Mr. Mackey is my teacher.

You all know Mr. Mackey from South Park? He's the one that always says "m'kay" after each sentence. This class I'm in right now has that teacher. The difference is that he has this big nose that makes me want to become a plastic surgeon.

This class is worthless anyway, so I just don't pay attention. He's talking about people installing heat in his house. I'm suppose to be learning Excel. Too bad I can't drop it. I paid money and don't want to lose that, or stop going and fail. Both would be bad. I'm wasting my time being here.

I could be sleeping.

On the other hand, another one of my teachers thinks I'm "edgy."
I don't know how he figures. He asked what my dad does and I told him he's a lawyer/consultant and then went on to explain how he's originally from Boston and that's why I drive aggressively.
He then said, "oh so is that where you get you're edge?"

I'm just guessing that everyone thinks I'm a lesbian.
I'm not planning on correcting anybody.

Obama...Osama?

Ok, so now that I got my first post out of the way, let's talk about real things. Well, at least important things.

Presidential candidates: Has anyone else noticed the similarities between the Middle East and candidate Barack Obama's name? Yea, chew on that for a second. Barack kind of sounds like Iraq, right? If you say it with a different accent, they actually rhyme. Obama is only one letter off from Osama, who, is quite obviously, not someone to be associated with. AND last night I learned his middle name is Hussein. I don't even have to make any leaps to connect that one.
Nevertheless, I was reading up on his positions (doesn't that sound dirty) and he seems like the best guy to be in charge of this country. I mean, if a monkey can do it, why not a guy that seems to make sense?

In my opinion he absolutely creams Hillary Clinton. That could be because I refuse to vote for her, no matter how good her policies may sound. I just don't like her. I don't trust her. I liked Bill, but I hope beyond hope that she doesn't get votes from feminists just because she's a woman. Maybe this term is a time for change, but I don't want her moody greedy hands in the throne that runs the nation. I must admit, however, that ANYBODY (and I mean just about anybody) would do better than the illiterate excuse of a pathetic human being we have benefiting from the welfare of others.
Psfh.


Hooray for Obama! A name certainly doesn't do justice for the person who lives by it (again, look at our current "president.")

Losing my virginity.

Yes. It's true. I have never had a blog before. But with so many ideas running through my mind, I thought "why not?"

I always wondered if I ever had a band, what would the name be? I think pudding is cool. Not the actual food or anything, but the idea of it. Don't get me wrong, pudding tastes ok, but it seems so much better when you think of how it takes on so many different forms. First it's powdery, then mixed, then boiled. And finally it gets cooled and jiggly (which is the best part). So this is why my blog name is "Blog Pudding."

Just in case you didn't get the metaphor, it means that I will write about a buttload of things; anything that's on my mind. I'm not strictly about celebrities or politics or dieting. Maybe I'll write about all three. Or some sort of mutant of a post.

Ha. Mutants.