Stephen Colbert, will you Marry Me?

Dancing to "Funky Town" at 15 till midnight is just about the most amazing thing I've ever seen. Getting that song out of a fish? Even better.

After months of watching your show, I have become addicted. Yes, every single night. I'm hooked, there is no living without "The Colbert Report." I must admit, however, that I first fell for John Stewart's show.

In my social studies III (roman numerals - so fancy!) class in high school, my teacher, who in a pinch could BE John Stewart, would have us watch John Stewart. He would tape it the night before and bring it in the next day. Of course, the clips he would show would be completely relevant to what we were discussing in class that day... Or of Bush being in idiot.

I never used to watch these shows on Comedy Central. I'm a South Park/Lil Bush kinda girl. I would watch bits and pieces of "The Daily Show" every now and then when I was flipping through channels, but it never interested me, even though politics always has.

After my social studies class, I started to watch Stewart. Sometimes record it on my DVR, most of the time, not. I would always change the channel after that. But then, you know how TVs always manage to mess up things somehow? Your show became one with "The Daily Show" in its own little news comedy hour long fun package. Or it could have been me being bad at recording, this was over a year ago.

I started watching "The Colbert Report" quite often as well. It probably wasn't until the writers strike that I started watching EVERY day. I really got to see how great you, Stephen, and John are at improving. I honestly think that the shows became much better and really took off during that time. You guys were wild and could let loose and talk about anything, ANYTHING.

Unfortunately, after the strike, when the writers came back, Stewart's show started to, well, kind of lag.

But yours Stephen, oh wow! It still REALLY soared. Being quite the sarcastic person myself, I have really fallen in love with your asstitude. I am in awe with your over flowing abundance of personality and charisma.

My mother often finds you to be insulting and rude, but she also doesn't know anything about anything. And she talks back to the TV, which I might add is one of the MOST annoying things people can do. Unless they argue with it, because that's just funny. But no, she agrees and says stupid stuff that just irritates the skin off of my body.

Getting back to the point, I know you are married, and I am not wickedly attracted to you physically (no offense, you know you're charming), but holy cow. Being with you must mean never going to bed angry.

Well, I guess that isn't much incentive, because that is already true for the here and now. Watching "The Colbert Report" right before bed, who could be mad?

Maybe my mother.



That was meant to be rhetorical, but oh well, I answered my own don't answer question. You closed the deal for me tonight with this little black fishy (which is now on pause because I felt I HAD to write this RIGHT now with NO time to waste).

Funky Town is just one of those wicked funny songs. Towelie = the best person making fun of it (until tonight) in that one episode of South Park. "That's it. That's the melody to Funky Town."

But he doesn't dance. And he only finds the music through a code thingie, like the telephone tones. You found the music through a fish. A fish! Which apparently had just been discovered to make sounds.

A fish. Jeez, Colbert, you are a genius. My respect for you is forever undying.